Being alone or feeling alone on Valentine's Day may leave you feeling like you are the only person without a partner or that everyone has a more attentive partner than you.
The massive emphasis on Valentine's Day love can feel so intense that not only do you feel lonely on this day, but you may also feel left out of something that seems to be universally happening for everyone else.
One of the facts that most people are unaware of is that they feel bad when being alone on Valentine's Day, not because of loneliness but because they connect being alone on that day to being worthless or unimportant.
If you currently don't have a loving partner, this doesn't mean that you are inadequate, worthless, or different in any way.
Here are some suggestions on how to get through the day with a sense of satisfaction. And a sense of knowing you are worthy with or without a partner on this day.
Keep some perspective: It is easy to think that we are the only ones that are experiencing the loneliness of this day. Remember that you are not alone. There are many people in the same situation.
Focus on the benefits rather than seeking the drawbacks: Write a list of all the good points about being single. For example, free time, no compromises on when you get up in the morning or go to bed at night, no pressure to cook dinner, you can come and go as you please, fewer responsibilities, etc. And think about how some of those good points would evaporate within a relationship.
Remember, it's just another day: Everyone has different opinions on (and preferred ways to spend) Valentine's Day. Some people are more into celebrating it than others. It may help you to remember that February 14 is just another 24 hours that will come and go. You don't have to participate in the festivities if you don't want to — it's OK to maintain your regular routine as if it's any other day.
Be happy within yourself regardless of your relationship status: It is easy to get caught up in the thought that another person can complete you. We often hear sayings like "my better half" I'm nothing without you," etc.… If taken too seriously, this unhealthy perspective can mean co-dependence, loss of independence, and losing yourself in another person.
Rather than feeling down on Valentine's Day, celebrate the strengths and achievements that testify to you being a whole and healthy person, a person who has space for love should it come along but who does not need such a relationship to create self-worth and happiness confidence.
Say what you are feeling: Even if you're in a relationship this Valentine's Day, you're not immune from loneliness. We tend to have such high expectations on this day. All the flowers being delivered, dinner dates, tv commercials, you name it this holiday is in your face. Many people find themselves wishing for more on this high-pressure holiday but don't know how to make it happen. In any relationship, both people need to be able to assert their needs. For some people, the thought of saying what they need can cause some anxiety. The key to success in this area to ask for what you want and do it in a direct way. By doing this you will get the best results and more than likely not feel disappointed.
The following are some suggestions of things you can do to get through the day:
1. Have a singles party
2. Have a "galantines" get together
3. Treat yourself to take out and a RedBox
4. Get a Pedi or Mani or both
5. Write a gratitude list for people who you love
6. Write a love letter to yourself
7. Send yourself some flowers to brighten up your space
8. Catch up with someone you miss
9. Do whatever you want
10. Hangout with love ones
Bottom line... Rather than feeling down on Valentine's Day, celebrate the strengths and achievements that show up as you being a whole and healthy person, a person who has space for love should it come along but who does not need that type of relationship to create self-worth and happiness confidence.
If you are struggling to connect with others in your same position, or struggling to find your own self-worth and happiness check out our Reclaim You Monthly Membership. We offer group coaching, community, lifework, and more. It’s the perfect place to meet others that are healing and walking a similar path as you.
Tiffany + Kierstyn
The Relationship Recovery